So it's looking like we will see the sunny shores of Spain this summer. The summer holiday has been off, then on, then probably off, maybe on and definitely off. And now I think we are going. We've had to change flight dates and resorts to sort it though. Fate has dealt us a strange twist as one of the few places available was the last place we have been abroad as a family. I had deliberately avoided booking there as I decided it would be too painful for our first holiday without Lauren, but when I was left with the choice of there or some "Family Hotel" hell, I decided we'd give it a go.
It will be sad wherever we go without Lauren, so why not go back somewhere we've been before and have happy memories of.... although I'll let you know afterwards if it ended up being a good idea.
I'm feeling quite upbeat about it, I think it may be fate forcing us back. When I was on hold with the travel company trying to arrange the holiday the music they had playing was "Hold My Hand" by Jess Glynne. I took it as a sign, Jess Glynne was playing at Lauren's funeral, and it was the last concert that I went to with Lauren. I did manage to hold it together, just, so that the lovely travel company lady didn't have to deal with a blubbering customer.
I've never been religious but I have found that I've become more spiritual. I look for signs in everything, I'd be a clairvoyants dream at the moment. I can almost understand the comfort people get from religion, if it turns out to be a load of baloney you only find out when you're dead! But signs and music and strange coincidences are all quite comforting, and to be honest I'll take what I can get at the moment, even if it makes me sound like crazy cat woman.
So fingers crossed that all stays well, we remain healthy, and we are able to get away next month. I know quite a lot of people are cancelling due to the threat of Covid-19, but we've looked at the risks, and stocked up on face-masks, hand sanitisers and wipes, and I think we just really need this break. Spain is probably safer than here at the moment, the travelling will be a different experience but I think once we are there the main danger will be from other English tourists.
I definitely feel like we need to seize the moment. I don't want to put it off until next year, because who knows what next year will bring. I have no space for any more regrets,
"Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.”