I can't believe it's only been three months since Lauren died. I guess it's true when they say that time flies when your having fun, this three months has felt like forever.
I don't want to write about the awful drudgery of these three months, the paralysing pain, that periodically gives way to the blessed numbness of shock, instead I wanted to write abit about Lauren.
Lauren loved to have a laugh. She had a great sense of humour and was hardly ever sad. She had the usual teenage blowups, but they never lasted and I loved the fact that she was always quick to apologise.
She was always ready to fill me in on all the gossip from school, always animated over the most mundane stories. Our friends often told us that they enjoyed the conversations they had with her. We usually joked back that we could never get her to shut-up.
She had a large group of friends, loved her dance and drama, and loved her holidays. One of the things that kept being repeated to us after she died was how much she helped people. She seemed to have the ability to hone in on people in need of someone to talk to or assist them in some way. Maybe it was being the eldest of three, maybe she was just naturally giving. She was certainly generous. She was always keen to get money, but then spent it all on presents for others.
She wasn't perfect, although it's difficult to remember her faults, but her dad and I were so proud of the young lady she had become. I'm grateful that I remember telling her how proud I was not long before her death.
Lauren was a brilliant big sister, but she was always trying to prove to her younger siblings that she was the favourite child. It was a running joke that they had. She wasn't very subtle about it.... this is the mug she bought me last year
I was looking through old videos on my phone They were mainly of Lauren dancing, she loved to dance, the girl was never still. When she was younger play dates used to involve the dressing up box and a "show" that my friends and I would have to sit through. Her love of performing continued, thankfully the standard improved somewhat.
In amongst the dancing ones was this video. It was on my phone from December 2018 but I'd never seen it before. She must of just left it there waiting for me to find it.
Just look how happy she is that she has managed to trick me. Obviously it would have been nice if she could have picked a moment when I didn't look quite so haggard!
I love her so much xxxxxx