Over the past three and a bit months I've been attempting to find the good in every situation, it's almost like I've been in training for this Coronovirus shutdown.
I've been happy for the strong marriage I have, my two healthy kids, my friends, and the holidays we have all shared.
I'm trying to turn that optimism to the global situation we all find ourselves in.
Firstly the sun is shining, hallelujah! So I'm thankful that we have a garden, that we live in the country so quiet walks are possible, that I can sit in the sunshine with a Crabbies writing this blog
I'm thankful to spend time with the kids, without having anything else to worry about. Yesterday we baked for the Husbands birthday. We also invested in Disney plus, I'm definitely not attempting to be some kind of super mum! The Husband announced that school work would finish early as it's his birthday, not something we could normally do.
I'm thankful to get to spend extra time with our gorgeous puppy.
I'm thankful that I dont need to worry about the ironing, and of course I'm thankful for Joe Wicks.
I'm thankful that all my family are healthy, so far.
Scratch the surface though and the pain is still there, swirling round with a heavy dose of anxiety. Images of Lauren on the ventilator come unbidden into my mind. Her lungs were badly damaged very quickly. I don't want to think of her like that but when all the talk is of lungs and ventilation and pictures show hospital beds full of lung damaged patients it becomes very difficult. I try and push them from my brain, it takes almost a physical effort.
I didn't think it would ever happen to us, but it did. Stuff doesn't just happen to other people. Please remember that.
Going forward we need to look at what we are doing to the animals and wildlife we share our space with. This is a warning shot from nature. We can't keep looking at our health and the health of the planet as two separate entities. I'm hopeful that the people with the power will now wake up and see that, although that really might be looking on the brightside.