Lauren's death has forced me to live in the present. Remembering the past, the happy,contented previous me is painful. Thinking of a future without my smiling laughing daughter is too much to bear.
So instead I've been thinking what Lauren would have made of lockdown if she'd been here.
There would definitely have been some slobbing around, some "Lauren time" as she liked to call it. She wasn't some perfect child, as if such a thing exists, there would have been friction regarding the state of her bedroom, and fallouts with her siblings. But there would also have been some fun and games too.
She loved creating games for family game night, or building dens with her brother and sister. She went through a stage, in primary school, of sleeping in a cardboard box in her room. I had to tell her not to mention it at school so I didn't get a concerned telephone call from her teachers!!
But most of all she loved to perform. I've lost count of the number of dance/singing performances she's press ganged her friend's into. She even had her brother involved, when he was too young to object.
In the months before her death she was still convincing her younger sister, who loves football and hates anything remotely girly, to join her in the dances she would choreograph, or block out.
They'd perform them for me and her Dad. I'm guessing there would have been alot of them in lockdown. We'd have probably moaned about it, complained that the dances were too long and that we didn't want to watch anymore. ........ I wish 💙