I keep seeing reminders of my social media posts from this time last year. They are nothing of consequence, silly clips, political arguments, Christmas Fair reminders. New me wants to shout at the old me "Brace, Get Ready, Can't you see what's coming?"
Of course old me had no idea, blithely going through life, why would she? And would I have wanted advance warning? What could I have done? Wrapped Lauren in some kind of biosphere, made her have her own individual self isolation? Taken her to the doctors, telling them that yes I agree she doesn't look ill now, but soon she will be so ill that you'll not be able to make her better.
I've seen Back to the Future enough times to know that messing with the past can have undesirable and unexpected consequences. I'd still try though, if I could.
When I look back at the old me it's is sometimes hard to remember that I was not living in some kind of Utopia. The old me had worries and problems, they may seem unimportant to new me, but I didn't know her then.
The new me knows lots of things that the old me didn't. I know about courage and resilience, grief and pain.
I also know that the dark days are coming.