There are mornings where Lauren is no longer the first thing I think of when I wake up, when her smile does not float through my mind, when I don't collapse in tears on the kitchen floor when making the morning brew... this was not one of those mornings.
11 months, 11 lifetimes, it is hard to tell which.
On this day, more than any other, I know I am not alone in my grief for a lost loved one. I have empathy this year with the mums, dads, brothers, sisters, partners who have lost someone in service. I can't comprehend how it could have felt to get the awful news of death, often in a far away land, with no firm details, no final goodbyes or finger painting, just gone. But I do know the ache of that loss.
Misery does indeed need company, but not for the dark reasons this immediately portrays. It is important to see that life isn't fair, not just for us but for many other people. Fairness is not a given, happiness is not the reason for life. In remembering this it can help avoid the feelings of anger and resentment. It's more difficult to think "Why me" when there is clearly more than one group suffering..."why us" does not hold the same wretchedness. Dealing with grief and loss is hard enough without heaping on other negative emotions of anger and resentment.
That is why remembrance days are so important, not just to remember the sacrifices that have been made, but also to remind the families that are left behind that they are not alone in their grief.
"But there was no need to be ashamed of tears, for tears bore witness that a man had the greatest of courage, the courage to suffer.” ~ Viktor E. Frankl